Putting on your headphones and listening to something helps pass the time when you have to wait. Waiting in line at airport security? Not so bad if you can watch a gardening tutorial. A 12 hour flight? No problem if you have downloaded your entire favorite series on your mobile.

The ubiquity of headphones began in 1979 with the Sony Walkman. Hailed as a modern marvel or decried as a vector of individualistic incivility, they are everywhere. As the holidays approach, here are some suggestions for their use, especially in airports and airplanes, where we share limited space with many other human beings.

When should you remove your headphones? Airport etiquette specialists give us their opinion.

Headphones are a godsend for escaping the frenetic atmosphere of the airport: crying babies, loud chatterboxes, renovation workers, coughing colds. But excluding yourself 100% from the sound environment can cause big problems.

“You risk missing crucial information and seriously jeopardizing your trip,” says Jonnie Lane, a flight attendant with Delta Air Lines for 16 years.

If passengers are told about a change of boarding gate or an emergency, you’re done. If you are asked on the intercom, you could miss the flight, delay boarding and make things difficult for staff. “That’s why we ask people to pay attention if they’re wearing their headphones,” Ms. Lane says.

When faced with a gate agent, a Starbucks cashier or a flight attendant, the level of courtesy is to give them your attention, says Nick Leighton, who hosts Were You Raised By Wolves? (Were You Raised by Wolves?), podcast about politeness in the 21st century. Not removing your headphones when someone is talking to you is a cardinal sin.

“It’s important to be aware of the energy you send to others,” says David Coggins, author of Men and Manners, a bestselling American book. “With headphones, you put yourself in your little bubble in noise cancellation mode, but you ignore everyone around you,” he adds. “We still want to connect with our fellow human beings. »

“When someone sits next to me on the plane, I look at them, smile and say hello,” says Coggins. “But then I look away. Especially nothing that encourages a terrible conversation like: “So where are you from?” »

The minimal courtesy of removing your headphones, at the beginning, is a way of acquiescing that you will be strung out like firewood for several hours and “a signal that I want this to go well,” summarizes Mr. Coggins.

With a headset, it is better to put it around your neck if you are talking with someone. With earbuds, removing just one is enough to show your consideration to the interlocutor.

“In the queue, when I get to the counter, I usually take off an earpiece so the person knows they have my attention and I say thank you,” adds Coggins.

Mrs. Lane, the flight attendant, agrees, leaving one on her shoulder is enough, which is what she does herself when she flies as a passenger. “It would be nice to take both off, but you know, taking one off is fine. It’s okay.”

What is never acceptable is listening to anything on speaker. Headphones are required if you are called, if you take your messages, if you watch a video or play a video game on your phone.

If wearing your headphones at the wrong time is rude to the few people you ignore, forcing your Zoom meeting on your neighbors is “a crime against everyone,” Coggins said.

Do everyone a favor and put your phone to your ear, old-fashioned style, or put in your headphones.

Even if you’ve heard the story a thousand times, take off your headphones when the flight attendant stands at the end of the aisle to demonstrate the safety instructions before takeoff.

“It’s a matter of courtesy, but also of safety,” says Leighton, who points out that not all planes are created equal: “Evacuating a plane in 90 seconds or less is a real team effort.”

It’s a small gesture, but the crew appreciates it: “It ends up weighing on me when I do it several times in the same day and I’m repeatedly ignored,” admits Ms. Lane. It’s frustrating. I am here above all for their safety. »

Flight attendants are there to help you in an emergency; safety instructions are designed so you can help yourself.

Besides, “you don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you’ve completely ignored them – not even a glance – and then you need help on the flight,” says Jules Hirst, co-author of the book Power of Civility (The power of civility).

Conversely, you should know that some autistic people use headphones to minimize sensory triggers and keep them on all the time to better tolerate noisy and crowded places like airports and planes.

Take a moment before you judge: we don’t know everything about people.