After my divorce, I felt lost and exhausted. I had spent 12 years pretending to be someone I wasn’t in my marriage. I felt like I was playing the role of a Hollywood socialite wife and mother, and I had lost touch with my true self. Growing up with a dominant stepfather and being the only black girl in my schools had made me suppress my true identity in order to fit in and avoid upsetting others.
When I decided to divorce, I realized that I had lost touch with who I really was. I had been pretending for so long that I didn’t even know myself anymore. This realization hit me hard, and I found myself turning to sleeping pills and alcohol to cope with the pain. As a 43-year-old mother of two and the president of the Parent-Teacher Association, I was struggling to find my identity outside of the roles I had been playing for so long.
Seeking help, I confided in my best friend about my struggles. I admitted that I had been pretending to be good at relationships when in reality, I was not. Finally being able to let go of the facade of who I thought I should be was a relief, even though it was a painful process.
Going through my divorce taught me a valuable lesson about authenticity and self-acceptance. I realized that pretending to be someone I’m not not only hurt me but also prevented me from forming genuine connections with others. It’s important to be true to ourselves and embrace our flaws and imperfections, rather than trying to fit into society’s expectations of who we should be.
In the end, my divorce was a wake-up call that forced me to confront my true self. It was a painful process, but it ultimately allowed me to let go of the act and embrace my authentic self. It’s never too late to rediscover who you truly are and start living life on your own terms.
