“This year I learned to play with dolls!”
On the line, Yannick Lafranchise Giroux, father of four children, including a 22-month-old girl, talks about his new routine with his kids.
For nine months, the forty-year-old has had sole custody of the children, including two of school age, in addition to the baby. Hosted by a community organization in its region, the little family stays focused on an important mission: establishing and maintaining a safe routine. “I was with the children’s mother for 18 years,” says Yannick. There were times when the relationship was tumultuous… I left the family home when there was no established life routine. My youngest was having severe seizures. »
Little by little, with patience, determination and a lot of love, Yannick is getting through it. He’s a full-time father; going back to work (he’s in music production) will have to wait. His days are filled with preparing meals, doing loads of laundry, helping with homework, supervising baths and activities with baby, with whom he spends his days. “Every day you have to adapt,” he says. There is a problem and I find a solution. Everything is easier with time, as long as you are versatile and creative. I have to say that I’m quite proud of myself. I commend myself for my patience! »
Patrice Saint-Amand has been there. A father of two, he has had sole and complete custody for 12 years. Today, his son is 20 and his daughter is 17. “There were difficult times when my boy had severe anxiety and I went to court seven times in eight years… The kids don’t “did not always get along well and I rushed to appointments with the doctor, the child psychiatrist, the counselors,” he confides.
Devoted to his children and devoted to providing them with stability and guidance, Patrice admits that he “forgot himself in that.” He is now involved in the cause of fathers by leading groups and he dreams of working in the tourist industry. “I’ve had a lot of help and now I want to give back,” says the 58-year-old.
These words resonate loudly with Jimmy Lambert. Widowed when his daughters were 2 and 4, he sank into depression. His mother supported him for several months, while he “got his mind back”. This was just before COVID-19, a trying time again. “What made the difference for me was my network,” says the 38-year-old IT technician. My friends, my neighborhood and a social worker. She helped me a lot to regain confidence in my authority. I was too soft! Girls needed a father, not a friend. »
What does he think single fathers need most? Recognition. And support. “I knocked on every door to get help and access to resources, especially when I couldn’t. There’s no shame in that! On the contrary. I always got by and the girls didn’t want for anything. »
According to Raymond Villeneuve, general director of the Regroupement pour la valorisation de la paternité (RVP), even if public sympathy towards single fathers has improved, there is still a long way to go.
An example ? The request for accommodation assistance for fathers and their children in Maisons Oxygène increased from 6,009 requests in 2022-2023 to 7,094 in 2023-2024, reveals Sébastien Trudel, director of development at this organization. This is an increase of 18% in one year.
According to a 2022 survey by RVP, 25% of fathers who have experienced a separation in the last five years have a high psychological distress index.
Another gap to fill: the training of health and social services network personnel. “Staff would benefit from being better trained to support men and fathers who are going through difficult times,” underlines Mr. Villeneuve.
